I've Got Something To Tell You, Nothing
This little trick involves getting a friend or family member's attention and time and then abruptly telling them you don't need them after all. The joke becomes more humorous, at least to yourself, if you are able to actually make the person expend energy, like getting up off the couch or walking downstairs to see what you need.
My sister recently told me this joke might have been singly responsible for her hate and aggression towards me as a child. Every day I would get her attention, "Hey Katie." She would reply, "What?" and then I would say, "Nothing." After doing it several times throughout the day over several months, you would think she would just quit answering me, well she did. When she stopped listening, I had to make my calls sound really important. I would shout from another room, "Katie, come here, quick!" She would reply, "Whatever," knowing that I was trying to trick her. Then I would counter with a shout like, "Seriously come here and help me lift this!" As she entered the room and asked, "With what?" I would just say, "Nothing."
The invention of email has given rise to the ability to trick your relatives from miles away. Send them an email that says, "It is very important that you please read the attached file immediately!" When they open the file, surprise, the text file says, "Nothing."
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